Getting the Message

Getting the message – it’s a huge topic. Where to start?

As I sat and waited for all the many random thoughts pinging around my head to get into some sort of order and start dripping down the filter into my consciousness – or in this case, into my fingers and onto the computer screen, I was struck by the music I was listening to (vintage Roy Orbison, actually). The full sound came from the main speaker, and then a beautiful section came from the speaker behind my left ear, followed by the answering section from behind my right ear.

And somehow, that clicked. It’s not only what The Big O was singing that mattered, but what I was hearing – and how I interpreted that – which affected my overall experience.

There’s another article to be written about information overload (note to self!) – but here I want to focus on the messages we receive from our parents, teachers and relations in our early years. Do those adults understand, I wonder, the huge effect their words can have on young, sensitive children?

I may be repeating this story, but it shocked me so much it bears telling again. I was in a local convenience store a while back, and a young boy aged around 6 or 7 was looking for a newspaper. The papers were not in a rack, but spread on a shelf almost at floor level, with a large pillar making things even more awkward (clearly newspapers were not a top seller!). As the boy picked up his paper and turned away, so some magazines dropped from the next shelf up. He started to put the magazines back, which was very good of him – but I was horrified to hear what he was saying to himself as he did it:

“You’re so clumsy, you’re always dropping things.”

“Stupid boy, why aren’t you more careful?”

“You can never do things right, can you?”

As I helped him to pick up the magazines that had fallen off the shelf, he looked at me as if he expected another verbal lashing. Instead, I smiled and assured him that everything was fine, it was only a few magazines, he was being very nice by putting them back, no harm was done. He looked confused, then embarrassed, as he left to pay for his paper.

I was left wondering just who had so effectively programmed this young boy that he repeated the phrases parrot-fashion in such a situation. Did they realise the damage they had done? That the boy would carry that programming with him as he grew up?

I have worked with a number of clients recently affected by getting the wrong message – or by being harshly programmed, like this little boy. The teacher who smirks, “well, you’ll never get very far at this rate,” or something similar. The father who never told his daughter she was pretty, and only praised her when she got top grades at school. The mother who told her daughter that men were evil and sex was a painful, horrible chore.  All lay the foundations for problems in the future as the child grows up and faces the dilemma of his / her reality and what he / she has been told.

By going back and finding out where those messages came from, and dealing with them at source, it is possible to free the client from those negative chains and allow them to move forward with a new set of messages that are far more relevant to their particular lives. It can be an emotional, tearful, journey – but getting rid of those outdated, non-serving messages is also hugely empowering.

If you feel that you or someone you know would benefit from releasing old programming, get in touch. Call me on 07597 020 512 or email me on:
judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk . I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free and totally confidential.

I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex.

 

Creating new habits, new pathways, with the help of the unconscious

When I work with clients, I put them into a deep state of relaxation, and then I access their unconscious minds. I say to them that it is the part that looks after them, and knows everything about them. Which is true, it is the control centre, if you will, and my task is to trace back the real underlying root cause of an issue and resolve it at source.

Very often, a client comes to me with very set beliefs – “everyone does that, don’t they” or “I’m never going to get better” or “that’s just the way it is”.
Well, actually, no. What we think, becomes our reality, because when we constantly think in a certain way, we are creating a pattern that the unconscious takes as an instruction, and does its best to create whatever it may be. It’s called a neural pathway and, like any pathway, the more you tread it, the more pronounced and ingrained it becomes.
Those of you who drive will understand – when you start driving a car, it seemed impossible to keep your hands on the wheel, then put one hand on the gear stick, have your feet doing different things on the pedals without looking, while keeping your eyes on the road and in the mirror – right?
But eventually it all became totally natural, you didn’t have to think about it.
That’s how habits are formed – it takes around three weeks to re-programme the brain into a new way of doing something (that’s why in the bad old days, cigarette companies would say in their advertisements “give it 21 days”).

The unconscious loves imagery which is why so much of my work with clients who are in that state of relaxation is done through visualisation. I use this technique, for instance, when “fitting” a hypnotic gastric band, or when helping people to give up smoking. I use it when I explore traumas that have impacted on clients in this lifetime. When I am going through the process of what I call “cord cutting” – cutting away negative emotions – I actually use a large pair of scissors. The sound of cutting, combined with the strong suggestion that I am cutting away what is no longer needed, is very powerful for the unconscious.

I use similar visual techniques to help people literally shape a new version of themselves, or to “turn down” the level of nagging pain they may be suffering. Because the unconscious responds to such visual suggestions, it is highly effective.

It is all about creating a new pathway to change the habit, the reality, and sometimes I will do just that. I will set up a roadblock, a fallen tree across the road or a diversion sign so that the client has to take another route – which turns out to be a far better way to go. The unconscious accepts the instruction more readily with the added benefit of the visual aid.

The unconscious really does control our reality – but we have the power to create new pathways, new ways of thinking and, therefore, new ways of being!
If you feel I can help you with the issue that is holding you back, please feel free to get in touch – 07597 020 512. I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free of charge and in total confidence.
I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath; The Practice Rooms in Hove and a lovely stand-alone treatment room in  Ifield (Crawley).