I need to see you “now!”

Some time ago now I saw a lady who called to say she needed to see me “now!” When she arrived, and I asked what the problem was, she said she didn’t know where to start, she really was all over the place. She said she didn’t like the person she had become; she wanted to go back to the person she used to be. She admitted that she sometimes had irrational outbursts of anger, directed at strangers, and she hated herself for it.

In a deep state of relaxation and working with her unconscious, we uncovered a beautiful loving spirit who had been with her for a very long time and who was taking good care of her. We also found a male spirit who had been curled up fast asleep – he was quite happy to move on to where he needed to be.

And then there was the other one, the one that was hiding, lurking, and did not really want to come out at all. When I asked how he influenced the client, he said, “I’m all the bad stuff.” I asked if he was the anger and again he said, “yes, I’m all the bad stuff.” After a bit of negotiation he too went on his way, and I then did some work to ensure all the final residues were gone, and the spaces cleansed and re-filled with lovely positive energy. The loving spirit had had her work cut out to keep him in check, and I felt sure that, with him out of the way, her  compassionate influence would be felt even more strongly.

When the client came back to the here and now, she was wide-eyed. She was very aware of all of the individual characters of the spirits, especially “the bad stuff”, and said she felt him leaving. I said that she should start to feel lighter in a couple of days and she laughed. “In a couple of days?” she said, “I feel lighter now, I feel fantastic!” 
She even phoned me the next day to confirm her new-found “lightness” and said, “something has definitely shifted, I haven’t felt this good in years!”

So if you have strange mood swings or irrational outbursts; if you don’t like the person you’ve become and would like to find the old you – give me a call on 07597 020 512 or email me on:  judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk.
Perhaps you’ve picked up a spirit “passenger” along the way and helping it go home could well get you back on your pathway too!

I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex.

Related content:  Spirit Release Work

Getting the Message

Getting the message – it’s a huge topic. Where to start?

As I sat and waited for all the many random thoughts pinging around my head to get into some sort of order and start dripping down the filter into my consciousness – or in this case, into my fingers and onto the computer screen, I was struck by the music I was listening to (vintage Roy Orbison, actually). The full sound came from the main speaker, and then a beautiful section came from the speaker behind my left ear, followed by the answering section from behind my right ear.

And somehow, that clicked. It’s not only what The Big O was singing that mattered, but what I was hearing – and how I interpreted that – which affected my overall experience.

There’s another article to be written about information overload (note to self!) – but here I want to focus on the messages we receive from our parents, teachers and relations in our early years. Do those adults understand, I wonder, the huge effect their words can have on young, sensitive children?

I may be repeating this story, but it shocked me so much it bears telling again. I was in a local convenience store a while back, and a young boy aged around 6 or 7 was looking for a newspaper. The papers were not in a rack, but spread on a shelf almost at floor level, with a large pillar making things even more awkward (clearly newspapers were not a top seller!). As the boy picked up his paper and turned away, so some magazines dropped from the next shelf up. He started to put the magazines back, which was very good of him – but I was horrified to hear what he was saying to himself as he did it:

“You’re so clumsy, you’re always dropping things.”

“Stupid boy, why aren’t you more careful?”

“You can never do things right, can you?”

As I helped him to pick up the magazines that had fallen off the shelf, he looked at me as if he expected another verbal lashing. Instead, I smiled and assured him that everything was fine, it was only a few magazines, he was being very nice by putting them back, no harm was done. He looked confused, then embarrassed, as he left to pay for his paper.

I was left wondering just who had so effectively programmed this young boy that he repeated the phrases parrot-fashion in such a situation. Did they realise the damage they had done? That the boy would carry that programming with him as he grew up?

I have worked with a number of clients recently affected by getting the wrong message – or by being harshly programmed, like this little boy. The teacher who smirks, “well, you’ll never get very far at this rate,” or something similar. The father who never told his daughter she was pretty, and only praised her when she got top grades at school. The mother who told her daughter that men were evil and sex was a painful, horrible chore.  All lay the foundations for problems in the future as the child grows up and faces the dilemma of his / her reality and what he / she has been told.

By going back and finding out where those messages came from, and dealing with them at source, it is possible to free the client from those negative chains and allow them to move forward with a new set of messages that are far more relevant to their particular lives. It can be an emotional, tearful, journey – but getting rid of those outdated, non-serving messages is also hugely empowering.

If you feel that you or someone you know would benefit from releasing old programming, get in touch. Call me on 07597 020 512 or email me on:
judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk . I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free and totally confidential.

I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex.

 

Rules of engagement for an argument

With the pressures of being cooped up with someone building, it is almost inevitable that, just like a pressure cooker, the lid will explode, something has to give.

If you find yourself in this situation, it might help to bear in mind a few basic rules for a constructive argument. Is there such a thing as a constructive argument? Sure there is,
as long as you have a clear understanding of why you are going into it and what you want to come out the other side.

Here are my basic guidelines:

  1. Never argue on alcohol – it always ends in tears.
  2. If you can, choose the time and place. A crowded restaurant (remember those?) or a family get-together are not the best times to discuss, or argue about, personal issues.
    Know when to argue, and when to walk away.
  3. If you are the one who is “starting the argument”, if there is something that you want to clear the air about, then be very clear what that issue is, what your grievance is.
  4. If something crops up that you feel needs to be discussed, do it as soon as you can.
    Don’t let it fester so that you chuck it into the pot at a later date – “and another thing …”
  5. Stick to the key issue. Don’t bring up “stuff” from weeks or months ago. Don’t bring other
    people into it unless they are very relevant. Don’t get emotional – stick to the facts.
  6. If it is not you that has “started the argument”, respect the fact that, to the other person, it is important enough to warrant that. Engage, don’t say things like, “oh not that again …”
  7. Listen to what the other person is saying. Really listen. If it helps, feed it back – “so what you are saying is …..” . That tells them that you are taking it seriously, and helps to avoid any misunderstandings.
  8. Not all communication is verbal. As well as listening, look at the other person’s body language, their expressions – as they will be doing to you, too.
  9. If you are arguing with someone you know well, you know their triggers, you know how to press their buttons. Don’t do it. This is not the time for hurtful comments, insults or personal remarks that you may well regret later.
  10. When you talk, keep your voice down, don’t shout. Talk softly, and a little more slowly than you usually would. That encourages the other person to listen, and to take in what you are saying. It also avoids hurtling headlong into a loud, shouty slanging match.
  11. If the other person starts going off track, bringing in other issues, red herrings – call it out.
    Bring them back to centre, calmly and quietly. “Can we get back to talking about …..”
  12. Explain to the other person the result of what they do – it may be that they simply don’t understand. “When you do (A), I interpret that as (B) and that makes me feel (C) …”
  13. Find some common ground. Compromise. Maintain the relationship. Right now, if you are cooped up together, that is more important than ever.
  14. Remember the good things about the other person. Bring the argument to a definite close with some definite conclusions. Then go and get some fresh air, blow that stale energy away and get on with your lives!

Coping with Coronavirus Confinement

When all is well in our lives – when there is financial security: everyone is healthy: and we can come and go as we please – then it is very easy to “paper over the cracks”, to ignore those pressure points in a relationship.

When all is not well, the pressure builds and the cracks become very obvious.
In this current situation when we all have to stay at home, when couples – and families – are being forced to spend more time together than they usually do – we have all the ingredients for a storm.

“Out there” there is an atmosphere of anxiety and fear, not helped by the media and their screaming panic-peddling headlines. The energy is heavy, oppressive and negative – it’s a good job the sun is shining (as I write this at least!) – that helps to lift the spirits.

Nowadays our lives are very full – stress and deadlines at work; children have their own social agendas that need to be organised; running the household is a job in itself. Shopping, socialising, sport – it all fills up our waking hours. And much of it serves as a distraction from looking at what’s going on inside ourselves, from listening to that little voice that begs to be heard.

Those who now have time on their hands might find it increasingly uncomfortable. They will call it boring, they will say they are stifled, frustrated and so on – but perhaps they don’t like the idea of having to sit with themselves. To those people, I would say, “what is it that you are finding uncomfortable? What is it that wants to be heard?” And perhaps more important, “what are you going to do about it?”

This whole situation marks a massive energy shift, a huge change, and things will not go back to the way they were. It is an opportunity to work with ourselves, to look at who we are and, more importantly, who we would like to be. It can be an uncomfortable process, peeling that emotional onion, taking off the layers of pretence and show to discover the real you underneath. But as uncomfortable as it is, it is also enormously empowering, and stepping into the power of the true you gives you a new-found confidence and self-awareness that does not come from designer business outfits or a new drop-top car; from alcohol or drugs.

For those who are forced into spending more time than usual with a partner, the situation is equally challenging. Little cracks in a relationship can so easily become gaping chasms. Minor irritations grow into major issues. If you are sensitive, empathic or intuitive, this will be more likely, as you will be picking up on “stuff” that is flying around you.
This could be a very good opportunity to take time and discuss those issues that keep coming up but that keep being shelved because there is never time or space to do them justice. Keep it polite. Don’t bring up issues from years ago unless they are really relevant. Keep emotion out of it – stick to the facts. Don’t just hurl random accusations – back up your statements with examples. Listen. Really listen. Don’t talk over the other person. We are all allowed one walk a day – use it wisely! Go for a walk in the park, get some fresh air, blow away the cobwebs, talk about what is troubling you.

Confinement can bring people together or it can drive them apart: recognise the opportunity for what it is and use it wisely.


Spirit Release work: World War I commander leads his soldiers home

This is a case study from several years ago, but it was so striking at the time, and is so relevant now, that it bears repeating:

A good friend of mine, of the most spiritual ladies I know,  has some serious health issues, including a crumbling spine and constant pain in her chest. Unbeknown to me, she had decided to take herself off her long-term, heavy pain-killing medication a couple of days before I arrived, so she was not in the best of shape when I arrived.

We agreed that I would work with her with hypnotherapy to control her considerable pain. No sooner had she gone into a beautiful deep state of relaxation than she began talking:
“The mud is everywhere, they never told me it would be like this, where are my men . . . .?” At first I thought that she had slipped into a past life, but it quickly became clear that I was talking to someone in the trenches in Belgium in World War I. This young soldier, who gave his name as Commander George, was only in his mid-twenties, and felt desperately unprepared for the carnage all round him. His men were being killed, they were all knee-high in mud all the time, the stench of gas hung in the air and he was very frightened and confused.

While talking to Commander George, he suddenly said, “I’ve been hit. The bits of metal . . . I’m on the operating table, I see the doctors, they’re taking bits of metal out of my body but it’s no good . . . oh lord, I’m dead, aren’t I?”
Having established that yes, he was indeed dead, I explained that he needed to move to the light, where he belonged. He was adamant that he was not going without his men, who were clearly there with him somewhere. While emphasising how well he had done his duty and praising his bravery, I told him he had to order his men to go to the light too. I invited him to see the pathway, to feel the love and the warmth, and to tell his troops to make their way to the light. Only when they had gone did he agree to go too. As he got closer to the light, he said, “oh my, there’s my mother! There’s my dog!”

When my friend came back from that deep state of relaxation, she was as surprised as I was. She said that she felt Commander George, frightened as he was, scamper like a crab from her chest to her left arm, and it was from there that he went to the light. The troops – she said she counted at least eleven of them – were piled up her spine, and left via the base of her spine down a sort of chute. Touchingly, she said that Commander George’s dog was called Shep, something that she just “knew” but which he had not told me.

The next day my friend told me that, for the first time in ten years, she did not have a pain in her chest, and she could breathe normally. A couple of weeks later she emailed me to say she had had to completely re-learn how to sit in her car because her spine was so much stronger and her posture was improving day by day. More recently she drove to see me, a journey of almost three hours, something that would have been impossible before the session. She got out of the car and bounded around like a spring lamb – I could not believe it was the same person.

As she herself said, if she had gone to a conventional hypnotherapist and Commander George had appeared, the therapist may well not have recognised what was happening or how to deal with the situation. But then, we agreed, Commander George only appeared because he knew that he and his troops were in a safe, secure environment in which to make that all-important journey.

That is spirit release work at its very best, and it was a pleasure and a privilege to facilitate that healing.

If you feel that you, or someone you know, might benefit from some past life work, please get in touch. Call me on 07597 020 512 or email me on:
judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk .
I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free and totally confidential.
I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex, and from The Practice Rooms in Hove, East Sussex.

New success stories

It’s always appreciated when clients take the time and effort to let me know how things are going, either after a session or once the work has finished – the actual healing continues way after the final session, and can take weeks or even months to fully process and settle.

This lovely card arrived in the post a while ago – inside the client had written:
“I saw this card in the local shop and thought of you …. what you have achieved in a short time is amazing ….”

Just a couple of weeks ago a lady sent me a long email the day after a session.
She wrote:  “Thank you so much for our session and the spirit release yesterday … I have finally managed to shed some of the armour I had built up over the years and which eventually had desensitised me ……”

And a client I worked with over a period of several months wrote me a letter (how delightfully old-fashioned is that!) which said:

I’m very pleased to write on behalf of Judy Sharp, who I met in October 2017.

 As soon as I spoke to her on the phone I realized she grasped the problems, which were complex and longstanding.

 Within 3 weeks of starting therapy there had been a marked improvement in my physical symptoms and my confidence. Over the next four months the improvements continued and I was able to cope with situations and events that had previously been impossible.

 Her hypnotherapy has turned my life around and I still put her advice and teaching into practice – and it works.

 I feel a new person and this is obvious to friends and family who see a great change for the better.

I have no hesitation in recommending Judy as a first class hypnotherapist and counsellor.

MGJ                 21st September 2018

If you feel that my special blend of hypnotherapy, past life regression, soul retrieval and other processes may help you, or someone you know, why not get in touch? My mobile number is 07597 020 512. I’m always happy to chat – totally free and totally confidential.
I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath in West Sussex.

 

Fear, Anxiety, Overwhelm – and Change

Are you feeling a tad “out of sorts” at the moment? Or perhaps totally confused might be more to the point? I speak with so many people who are feeling completely overwhelmed with life in general, they feel helpless, out of control, anxious, even fearful about what is going on around them.
Does that sound familiar? If so, take some comfort from knowing that you are not alone, you have not done anything wrong, it’s not your fault.
At least part of the reason is “out there” in the wider universe, where there are huge energetic changes taking place that affect not only the planet but everything and everyone on it. We are being blasted by energy and, as we are energetic beings ourselves, we are reacting to that. Does that sound a bit whacky? I’m sure it does to some people, but scientists will confirm that the planet is moving through a different part of the solar system, and through a photon belt.
We are in a period of enormous change, at many levels. We are being invited – encouraged – urged – to deal with our “stuff”. Lots of people are, indeed, “clearing out” in one way or another, be it clearing out the shed or the attic; leaving that dead-end job at last; finding the courage to leave that destructive relationship; moving house – whatever it may be, it is part of the process. But it is only a part. What you also need to do is to clear out your emotional attic. This can be just as painful as sorting out all those physical boxes you haven’t looked at in years – and just as cathartic too! It’s time to really look at all the emotional garbage you have been carrying around for years, all the “stuff” that has become part of you but that you don’t really need.

I can help you get rid of all that old “stuff”, make it go away, for good. You will feel lighter, brighter and much more positive, ready to face whatever this new adventure may bring. If that resonates with you, give me a call on 07597 020 512. I’m always happy to have a chat – it’s totally free and totally confidential.
I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath; from The Practice Rooms in Hove; and from a lovely stand-alone space in Ifield (Crawley). I look forward to hearing from you!

Irrational Fears and Phobias

When I talk about past life regression – which I do, given half a chance – some people’s eyes glaze over, I can almost see their ears closing. Others, fortunately, are much more open to the idea that a wide range of issues in this life may, in fact, have their root cause in a past life.

Irrational fears and phobias are typical examples – and I have had clients come to me with a whole range of phobias! Common ones include fear of flying, heights, water, crowds, dogs and, of course, spiders. Less common but still not unusual are fear of crossing bridges, any form of surgery or needles, having something around the neck and being alone in the dark.

Usually, people find a way of coping with these fears until such time as they interfere with life so much that something has to be done. I worked with a lady last year who had just become a grandmother, and was overjoyed. Unfortunately, her new grandson was on the other side of the world, and she had a severe fear of flying. If she wanted to see her grandson, she would have to overcome that phobia!
The interesting thing about fear of flying is that there are variations on the theme: for some it is take-off and landing, while for others it is not being in control. For this particular client, it was being in an enclosed space and not being able to get out, a sense of being trapped.

The answer was found, as is so often the case, in a past life. In this instance, it was back in the 1600s when the client was a man in India. His life unfolded as a tale of riches to rags to riches as he lost his rich wife (and her dowry), but managed to marry off his eldest daughter to a wealthy merchant. The  man got caught up in an earthquake in Calcutta, and was trapped under the rubble, unable to get out. He was not found, and died there in the rubble.
The negative emotions were released and healed, and the client came back to full consciousness feeling much lighter.

About a month later I received an email from her, to say that she had taken a short flight  “to make sure it worked” and that she had just returned from that all-important first visit to her grandson on the other side of the world: how lovely is that!

This lady had never done any past life work before, but she was open to the idea, and it certainly worked for her! It could work for you too – if you have an irrational fear or phobia that is holding you back from living life to the full, give me a call on 07597 020 512. I’m always happy to chat – it’s totally free, and totally confidential. I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath; from The Practice Rooms in Hove; and from a lovely stand-alone treatment room in Ifield (Crawley).
I look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

Creating new habits, new pathways, with the help of the unconscious

When I work with clients, I put them into a deep state of relaxation, and then I access their unconscious minds. I say to them that it is the part that looks after them, and knows everything about them. Which is true, it is the control centre, if you will, and my task is to trace back the real underlying root cause of an issue and resolve it at source.

Very often, a client comes to me with very set beliefs – “everyone does that, don’t they” or “I’m never going to get better” or “that’s just the way it is”.
Well, actually, no. What we think, becomes our reality, because when we constantly think in a certain way, we are creating a pattern that the unconscious takes as an instruction, and does its best to create whatever it may be. It’s called a neural pathway and, like any pathway, the more you tread it, the more pronounced and ingrained it becomes.
Those of you who drive will understand – when you start driving a car, it seemed impossible to keep your hands on the wheel, then put one hand on the gear stick, have your feet doing different things on the pedals without looking, while keeping your eyes on the road and in the mirror – right?
But eventually it all became totally natural, you didn’t have to think about it.
That’s how habits are formed – it takes around three weeks to re-programme the brain into a new way of doing something (that’s why in the bad old days, cigarette companies would say in their advertisements “give it 21 days”).

The unconscious loves imagery which is why so much of my work with clients who are in that state of relaxation is done through visualisation. I use this technique, for instance, when “fitting” a hypnotic gastric band, or when helping people to give up smoking. I use it when I explore traumas that have impacted on clients in this lifetime. When I am going through the process of what I call “cord cutting” – cutting away negative emotions – I actually use a large pair of scissors. The sound of cutting, combined with the strong suggestion that I am cutting away what is no longer needed, is very powerful for the unconscious.

I use similar visual techniques to help people literally shape a new version of themselves, or to “turn down” the level of nagging pain they may be suffering. Because the unconscious responds to such visual suggestions, it is highly effective.

It is all about creating a new pathway to change the habit, the reality, and sometimes I will do just that. I will set up a roadblock, a fallen tree across the road or a diversion sign so that the client has to take another route – which turns out to be a far better way to go. The unconscious accepts the instruction more readily with the added benefit of the visual aid.

The unconscious really does control our reality – but we have the power to create new pathways, new ways of thinking and, therefore, new ways of being!
If you feel I can help you with the issue that is holding you back, please feel free to get in touch – 07597 020 512. I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free of charge and in total confidence.
I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath; The Practice Rooms in Hove and a lovely stand-alone treatment room in  Ifield (Crawley).

The Art of Self Care – Free Talks at Vinings in Haywards Heath

Are you one of those people who put everyone else first and yourself last?
Perhaps it’s time you learned The Art of Self Care!
Come along to a series of totally free talks at Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath. They run each Tuesday, 7pm – 8pm, starting Tuesday 18th September and running through to Tuesday 30th October.
Each week a different therapist will share their knowledge and experience around the central theme of The Art of Self Care.
I’m in the hot seat on Tuesday 2nd October, on the theme of “Re-discover your true self with hypnotherapy”.
The talks are totally free, but space is limited, so please do book a place – call Vinings on 01444 441 210 and leave your name and phone number.
Look forward to seeing you there!