AND THE WINNER IS …… ANXIETY, EVERY TIME

Whenever I check the stats for what people search for when looking for a therapist, Anxiety is always there at the top of the pile. Even before the extraordinary situation created by Covid-19, it was always Number One, so now it has a clear head and shoulders lead over Stress, Trauma, relationship problems and so on. Why?

Well, for one thing it is a general term that embraces various issues. It’s a word that is thrown around lightly, it’s an “alright” thing to have, it’s accepted and (sort of) understood.

The NHS defines anxiety as “a state of unease, such as worry or fear,  that may be mild or severe, ”
It is perfectly normal – and healthy – to feel anxious at certain times. This goes back to the old “fight or flight” syndrome of stone-age man. When coming face-to-face with a hungry lion, the man had to make a choice – stay and fight the beast, or run. The chemical process triggered in the body in the split seconds it took him to make his decision has been clearly identified, and involves the amygdala, at the back of the brain. At the first sign of danger, it releases adrenalin, a chemical that puts certain systems on high alert. It also shuts down systems that are not so important: stone age man would not have been aware of being hungry or wanting to have a pee when faced with a hungry lion. All resources are pumped to the brain, the muscles, the heart and the senses.
Once the crisis is over – when stone-age man has killed the lion or escaped from its clutches, the flow of adrenalin is stopped, and the systems return to normal.
A touch of adrenalin is a good thing – it gives us that “edge” before we make a presentation, or have an interview or take a driving test. But prolonged adrenalin is like driving a car with the choke out all the time (those of you too young to remember cars with chokes, go Google it!). There is too much “juice” getting in to the system, it’s working on overdrive, and that is not healthy.
Too much adrenalin in a system is like too much petrol in an engine – it floods!

There are many factors in our normal everyday life that may cause anxiety – work, financial worries, relationship, kids, moving house, death of a loved one  to name but a few. Add into the mix the shadow of Covid-19 and the many implications of that, and there is a perfect storm. People are either rushed off their feet at work on the frontline, in highly-stressed situations, or are stuck at home unable to work, with time and space to think about all the things that might go wrong.
The news is full of horror stories, numbers of death and people suffering: the levels of fear and panic are stirred up constantly.

In all of my work, I seek to trace back the real, underlying root cause of an issue and resolve it at source. A client’s irrational, ongoing anxiety may be the result of an incident or a trauma in their early childhood – or perhaps even much earlier, in a previous life (that is far more common than you may think). It may stem from a set of circumstances that, to the client at least, cannot be changed, leaving him or her powerless.

In exploring the client’s perspective of the situation and the wider world, i can help the client to uncover the  cause of the anxiety if it is a “this lifetime” root.
This may be done by creating a safe space for the client to “download” all the “stuff” that has been building up inside – all the “what if …?” scenarios, the fears, the insecurities and so on.
Or, perhaps some hypnotherapy and past life regression may be more effective, to explore the unconscious levels of the mind and see what is being held there.

Long-term anxiety can be debilitating and exhausting, and can have a serious impact on someone’s quality of life and well-being.
Uncovering the real underlying root cause and resolving the issue at source allows that person to get on with his or her life.

If you would like to have an initial chat about this, or any other aspect of my work, please do not hesitate to get in touch. An initial chat is totally free and there is no commitment at all. My home number is 01444 459 433 and my mobile is 07597 020 512.
I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex and appropriate measures are now in place to meet all the Covid-19 requirements.

 

 

IS LIFE FEELING LIKE A LABYRINTH RIGHT NOW?

Over these past few month, lots of things have changed – and, probably, so have you. This enforced time out has allowed us – almost forced us – to stop and think about who we are and who we would like to be; what we are and what we would like to be; where we are and where we would like to be.
All sorts of issues may have come up, at physical, mental and emotional levels, “stuff” that needs to be dealt with.
Sorting through that “stuff” can be challenging and uncomfortable, but it is only by deciding what to keep and what to leave behind that you can start to set a new course that more closely matches your new future.
My therapy bag contains a range of tools collected, worked with and honed over many years. Not only hypnotherapy and past life regression but also creating a safe, confidential space for talking – and listening: coaching and mentoring; tackling those tricky issues without judgment, without a hidden agenda.
If you know someone who could benefit from a guiding hand out of the labyrinth, give them my contact details –
01444 459 433 or 07597 020 512 – or point them to my website: www.effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk

COPING IN LOCKDOWN – AND COMING OUT OF LOCKDOWN

These past few months have been challenging at every level, in so many ways.
The usual routine has been turned on its head, individuals and families have had to adapt to completely new ways of co-existing. While for some this has been a time to press the “pause” button and think about a different way of living and working in the future, for others it has been highly stressful.

Couples who normally had distractions of work, gym, hobbies, nights out with the boys / girls, suddenly find themselves spending far more time together, with no distractions. If there were little cracks in the relationship, Lockdown could well have ripped them wide open. If there were issues that had been swept under the carpet – the carpet was whipped away, leave bare floorboards and piles of “stuff” to be dealt with. With nowhere to hide, couples had a choice – retreat to their respective corners and draw a line to divide them, or try and resolve the various issues that came to the surface. Sadly, for some, it resulted in abuse too: calls to the various emergency help lines have soared during this period.

For some people, then, Lockdown has been a time of being locked in with someone they would not choose to spend so much time with.
For others, it has been a time of being locked in with no access to the one person they would want to be with, including those having affairs.

And for yet others, it has meant being lonely as well as alone. Many people who live on their own rely on their jobs or their keep-fit classes or similar regular activities to provide the social interaction we all need. When confined to their homes – often small flats with little or no green space around – their four walls can seem like a prison.    Anxiety, fed by news reports on the TV and in  newspapers, can rise to panic proportions. The individual can be knocked off balance and, in that state, fear can take over. Deprived of human interaction, such people can easily slide into the big black hole of depression, hiding away as the world seems an ever-darker, more dangerous place.

For all of these people – the couples and the singles – the return to whatever may pass for normality is going to be a rocky road. It is not possible to “just go back the way it was” because too much water has passed under the proverbial bridge. It can need time and support to identify the issues and deal with them in a calm, logical, constructive way.

If you feel that I can help you with any of that, give me a call – my home number is 01444 459 433 and my mobile is 07597 020 512.
My email is:    judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk .
An initial call is totally free, with absolutely no commitment.

 

 

 

 

BACK TO WORK: FACE-TO-FACE SESSIONS ALLOWED FROM 4th JULY

Great news! Both of my professional bodies, CNHC and GHR, have confirmed that face-to-face sessions are permitted as from 4th July.
I shall be starting work again on Monday 6th July, from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex. Vinings is a very homely place with just four treatment rooms and a very friendly atmosphere. It has had a deep clean and new measures are in place to comply with the new Covid regulations.

If you feel that my blend of hypnotherapy and past life regression may help you with issues that might have surfaced during lockdown, get in touch.
Perhaps you would welcome a safe, secure space in which to “download”, let go of stuff that has been building up to boiling up? It can make such a difference to have an experienced someone listen – really listen – someone who is not in that “friends and family” circle, someone with no agenda, who is not going to judge but who can perhaps look from a different perspective.

I’m always happy to have an initial chat, totally free of charge, and with no commitment at all. My home number is 01444 459 433 and my mobile is 07597 020 512.

AN EMOTIONAL SYSTEM CAN CRASH TOO

Overload. Confusion. Fear. Anxiety. It can all be too much for your emotional system. If it feels like it might crash – support is needed!
Sessions with me don’t always involve hypnosis – although that can be a very useful way to uncover what is going on at an unconscious level.
Sometimes what is needed is time and space to download jumbled thoughts, to pick through them and sort out the gems from the rubbish that inevitably gets picked up along the way.
An experienced, active listener helps: someone who does not judge, who has no hidden agenda, who is not part of the friends & family circle.
My very first training was in psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and over the years I have added many other techniques to my toolkit including what some call “talking therapy” but which is perhaps better described as “listening therapy” with some pertinent questions popped in at just the right moment to help the client find clarity, and come to conclusions.

Right now, with the strange cocktail of circumstances and situations that we find ourselves in, our emotional systems can easily overheat and go into overload. If you feel yours is about to crash – get some support now.
I offer Skype or phone sessions until face-to-face sessions are once more allowed. Give me a call for an initial chat – it’s totally free, and there is no commitment at all.  01444 459 433 or 07597 020 512.

3 KEY QUESTIONS FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP

In any relationship, be in personal or business, there are good times and there are bumpy times. If the relationships are strong, then the issues can be aired in an open, respectful way. Misunderstandings can be sorted out, challenges can be met, problems resolved. But if the relationship is not built on strong foundations, then the slightest thing can cause small cracks to become gaping chasms.
Relationships can change over time without us really noticing. It takes something drastic to make us stop and look – and certainly this lockdown has been such a trigger.
Many people find themselves spending more time than usual with their partners. There are no distractions, no hiding places, so the focus is very much on getting along – or not.
Many others find themselves working from home instead of in an office – or perhaps not working at all. They have time to sit back and consider how they feel about their job – the stress, the time, the toll it has taken …

Whether we are talking about a personal relationship or a business one, there are just three key questions to ask yourself.
Allow yourself a bit of space and time to be still, to be calm and quiet, to check in with yourself honestly. You are connecting with that still, small voice inside, whatever you may call it – your Inner Self, your Higher Self, your Intuition. Listen to it and take notice of what it is telling you – don’t drown it out with a pile of “ifs” or “buts” – these are more distractions from the reality, the truth of your current situation.

1.     Am I happy in this relationship?
We could say that, if you are doing this exercise, we know the answer to this question, and that may well be right. Be honest, whatever pops into your head is the answer to go with.

2.    Is this a healthy relationship?
We now know that emotional health is very frequently – almost always – reflected in physical symptoms and issues. If you are in a relationship that is not healthy, then you may well be suffering from, say, high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels or other stress-related issues; your immune system may not be as strong as it could be. Any of these could indicate frustration, resentment, anger, a sense of being “battered and bruised” or treated unfairly.
You may have issues around your throat or mouth or eyes or ears (not being able to speak your truth; not liking what you are seeing or hearing).
Are you actively looking for diversions and distractions – alcohol, food, drugs? Another relationship? A hobby? Anything that takes you away from the person and / or the place?

3.      Is it likely that things will improve?
You may well need to sit and think about this and the sister question –
“do you really want things to improve?”
If we are talking about a business / work situation, then there may be two or three clear issues that are causing distress. Have you raised them with your line manager or HR or whoever is the most appropriate? If not, dare one ask, why not? Is there anything that you could do to improve things – be honest here, don’t just blame others when a bit of give and take could shift the situation.
If we are talking about a personal relationship, the process is basically the same. Can you clearly identify the key issues that are causing problems?
Have you raised these issues with your partner – not after a couple of bottles of red, but in a calm, rational way, each respecting the space and views of the other? Have you considered counselling or therapy, either as an individual or as a couple?

Once you have answered these three questions honestly, you will be in a much better position to know what your next steps need to be.
Sometimes, it can help to talk these things through with someone who is not in the family / friend circle. Someone who can actively listen without making any judgments but perhaps asking a few pertinent questions to allow you to come to your own conclusions.
Not all of my work needs to involve hypnosis – although it can be very useful in getting to what is going on at an unconscious level – and this is a perfect example of what I would call “talking therapy.

If you feel I might be able to help, give me a call on 01444 459 433 or 07597 020 512: no cost, no commitment, just a chat that might well change the way you look at things.

 

 

 

 

 

If you can’t go outside – go inside!

What does isolation mean to you? Do you see it as a punishment – or an opportunity? Are you one of those saying, “I’m bored!” or one of those saying, “I’ve never been so busy!”

Normally our days are full – work, family, social life, (anti) social media – distractions abound, so we don’t have time to just sit and “be”.
We are, after all, human BEings and not human DOings – but we seem to have forgotten that along the way!

Those who stuck at home may be starting to feel very uncomfortable with their own company, especially if they are used to being in a large office, or going out with friends.

This is a good opportunity to take time to get to know the real you, the one you perhaps avoided in the past. A bit like looking in the mirror, but looking much more deeply, into your soul, and finding that inner you that would love to shine like a beacon but that is probably a tad dimmed down through neglect.

How do you do that, and what will you find? You can do it in a number of ways, but they all involve being in that lovely state of relaxation that asks your conscious mind to get out of the way and allows your unconscious mind to roam free. For some people it could be a walk in the countryside or on a beach – social distancing rules permitting, of course. For others it may be sitting quietly and comfortably at home, with the mobile phone turned off – yes, really – and with some relaxing music to help the mind to settle.

Let your mind go as quiet and blank as you can. If thoughts float in, well, let them float right on out again, as if they are on clouds scudding across the sky. It will take a bit of practice, but once your mind gets the idea, it will be very happy to slow the pace and calm down.

Just sit and see what comes to you. It might be an emotion – which one? Anger? Frustration? Loneliness? Sit with it. Give it a colour, a shape, see where it comes from, what it wants to say to you. Does that sound silly? Probably, but try it anyway. You will be starting the process of “Peeling the emotional onion” and yes, it may well make you cry, be prepared for that. These are emotions that you have stuffed away for far too long, and that need to be released. Let them go, you don’t need them any more.

You may come up with some aspects of you that are not so nice, the ones you usually keep tucked away from other people. These are what we call “shadows” and we all have them. You can recognise them when you are with other people (remember that?) – if someone does or says something that irritates you, or makes you embarrassed – ask yourself why? Is there something in you that mirrors that?

This peeling of the emotional onion is an ongoing work in progress, it is never done, but with each layer that comes off, you will feel so much lighter. Just like those who are taking time to sort out a physical space and throw away the rubbish, so taking time to sort out your emotional space and getting rid of the stuff you no longer need is even healthier for you!

If you would like to have a chat about this, or any other aspect of your wellbeing at this time, give me a call: it can often help to talk with an experienced someone who does not have an agenda, who listens to what you have to say without judgment and who can perhaps offer a few suggestions if appropriate. I’m on 01444 459 433 or 07597 020 512.

The Inside – Outside Match

A friend of mine recently sent me a book by Maxwell Maltz MD, FICS, called Psycho Cybernetics. You probably haven’t heard of the man or the book – I certainly hadn’t. The paperback was first published in USA in 1969: the copy I was sent was the 33rd printing and was priced at $1.95!

Maxwell Maltz was an internationally-renowned plastic surgeon. He noticed that, while some of his patients made huge changes to their lives when they had had cosmetic surgery, others didn’t. This led him into what he called Psycho-Cybernetics which, in very simple terms, can be described as “self image psychology”.

Right there in the preface to his book, Maltz says, “When you change a man’s face you almost invariably change his future. Change his physical image and nearly always change the man – his personality, his behavior – and sometimes even his basic talents and abilities.” He realised that if people’s mental and emotional image of themselves did not change in line with their new physical appearance, then there would not be that enormous positive change. However handsome a man may be after plastic surgery to remove a physical defect or serious scars or whatever – if he still thinks of himself as ugly, that is how he will see himself, and his world (and behaviour) will be shaped accordingly

I find exactly the same thing with the work I do with my clients, in fact I expect and encourage positive changes. For instance, I work with people who are seriously obese. Many of them have endured years of being told that they’re fat, lazy, good for nothing, ugly and so on. All of those negatives have a very powerful impact on that individual’s self-esteem, on their very soul.

I work from the inside out. One client of mine was almost in tears when we had our first chat because I focused on the emotional reasons why she was holding on to excess weight rather than telling her to eat less and do more exercise. Several sessions on, this lady understands why she is holding onto her excess weight – and that she no longer needs it. She has dealt with issues of anger and frustration to do with work and family. She has re-discovered her true self, regained her inner confidence and power, and has re-joined her local slimming club knowing she is in absolutely the right frame of mind to make it work. And, of course, it is! She is back in control of her life, her body knows what is expected of it and is responding accordingly.

Maxwell Maltz was absolutely right – the inside has to match the outside. The only difference is, he worked from the outside in, and I work from the inside out!

If you would like to know more, get in touch. Call me on 07597 020 512 or email me on:  judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk . I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free and totally confidential.

I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Susse

Introducing Eric, the brain in your gut

We all know that we have a brain in our heads – but did you know that we have a second brain? And that it’s located in our gut? It’s official name is the Enteric Nervous System (ENS) – but I think Eric is easier to remember, don’t you?

Eric the ENS has at least 100 million neurons, which is about the same as a cat’s brain – and you know how smart cats can be! This brain is not a mass, as the brain in our head: rather it is a sort of mesh, or network, located under the mucosal lining and between the muscular layers of the esophagus, the stomach and the small and large intestines, so it is several metres long.

Eric the ENS is connected to the brain in our head by the Vagus Nerve, that runs from the abdomen to the brain. But if the Vagus Nerve is cut, Eric the ENS continues to function quite happily, controlling and co-ordinating the process of digestion and all that goes with it. In fact, some 90% of all the signals that pass along that Vagus Nerve are messages from Eric to the brain, and not from the brain to Eric – so it could be said that, actually, Eric’s in charge!

Just think for a moment of all the common expressions we use – “I’m gutted”; “it’s a gut reaction” “I can’t stomach it any more”; “I’ve got butterflies in my stomach” – to mention a few. These are all linked to responses from Eric the ENS to our moods and emotions: in fact it is often Eric the ENS who tells the head brain how we are feeling!

What does Eric the ENS do? Quite a lot, actually –

  • it controls the mechanical blending of food in the stomach, and ensures that the pH balance is right at various sections of the system. When we digest food it goes through a process where it is first broken down by an alkaline mix and then by a special acid mix: it is important to keep the two separate and both working as they should.
  • it identifies bad bacteria that may have got into the system via the digestive system (eg in something you have eaten). If the sensors on the gut wall detect something that shouldn’t be there, substances such as histamine are released. This alerts Eric to one of several responses – diarrhea perhaps, or a message up the Vagus Nerve to the head brain, who will trigger vomiting: both designed to get the bad stuff out of the system.
  • it produces as much dopamine (the pleasure and reward molecule) as the head brain.
  • it produces lots of serotonin too. Serotonin is the “feel good” molecule that helps counter depression and regulates sleep. Serotonin that is produced in the ENS passes into the blood stream and helps to repair damaged cells and supports processes such as bone density.

Considerable research is being done on the links between Eric the ENS and not only moods and emotions but also physical conditions. For instance, stress triggers the gut to produce more ghrelin, a hormone that reduces anxiety levels – but it also stimulates feelings of hunger. Hence comfort eating at times of worry and stress – blame it on Ghrelin the Gremlin! And when we have had enough, then PYY comes to the rescue – that’s the chemical that sends the message to the head brain that says, “I’m full.” But that takes the slow route – it can take up to 20 minutes for the brain to get that “I’m full” message, which is why we should eat slowly. Not only does it give Eric and his team time to digest the food in a more efficient way, but it allows time for the PYY to send the full message at the appropriate time, rather than when Eric has been bombarded with a pile of food that has to be sorted through, analysed and sent to the relevant areas for processing!

So next time you have butterflies in your stomach, or you have a gut reaction to something – think of Eric!

If you would like to know more about Eric – or any other aspect of my blend of hypnotherapy, past life regression and soul retrieval work – get in touch.
Call me on 07597 020 512 or email me on:  judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk . I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free and totally confidential.

I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex.

related content:  weight loss

Case study: why would her children being sick cause such a reaction?

I just love past life regression work. The more I study and research and work with this fascinating subject, the more I realise that our past lives hold the key to so many areas of our current lives.

I recently worked with a lady who has two young children. She is happily married, and a loving, caring mother. Her issue was her “over-the-top” reaction when one of her children was physically sick. This went beyond natural concern into what she described as a phobia.

In a deep state of relaxation she went back to a life where she was a girl of about 10 or 11, she didn’t really know, almost the eldest of a large number of brothers and sisters living in squalor in one dark, dingy room in what seemed to be a large town. There were certainly “lots of other buildings” around. This little girl didn’t know where her parents were, her main concern every day was begging or stealing enough food to feed her siblings.

Having established the basic scenario – she had no idea where she was, what year it was, who was on the throne (what did any of that have to do with the life of a struggling peasant girl?), I moved her on to the time when the incident happened that had to do with sickness.

The little girl moved on only a year or so, and was totally distraught. All her siblings were really ill – they had fever, they were vomiting, they were dying. It seemed it wasn’t just her family – everyone was ill, everyone was dying. There were no doctors, they had all gone. The little girl felt helpless, she didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t stop her brothers and sisters dying in this pathetic one room, with the floor no doubt awash with vomit as well as dirt and despair.

The little girl was sobbing, she was having problems breathing, she was desperately upset. We had clearly found the source of the trauma, so I moved her on a few more years. She was the only one of the children to survive, and we caught up with her living in a cottage in the country with a family “but not my family”. She married and had three daughters, all of whom were fit and healthy, and she was a loving, caring mother.

I moved her on to the time of her death, and helped her pass over with lots of love, compassion and reassurance that there was nothing she could have done to help her siblings, she did all she could, it wasn’t her fault and so on. She found release from the trauma she had carried in that lifetime, and passed with a beautiful smile on her face.

Then I worked on the “now” person, and released the negative strands that she had brought forward from that lifetime, reinforcing the positive, loving aspects of her being and giving strong, positive suggestions too.

Result – one amazed but very happy client who (despite the little pile of soggy tissues) said she felt “lighter”, “clearer”, “happier” – and that was just on the day!

All in a day’s work – is it any wonder I just love what I do?

If you feel that you or someone you know would benefit from my blend of hypnotherapy, past life regression and soul retrieval work, get in touch.
Call me on 07597 020 512 or email me on:  judy@effective-hypnotherapy.co.uk . I’m always happy to have a chat, totally free and totally confidential.

I work from Vinings Natural Health Centre in Haywards Heath, West Sussex .Related text:  Past Life Regression